I haven't canceled it yet. Let's just leave it for now and you can let me know.

[OPRD-shield_RGB_R BLACK]

[Tugman Volunteer Services Lead] (She/her) |  Park Ranger + Volunteer Service Leader
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Umpqua-Tugman Management Unit
460 Lighthouse Rd, Reedsport OR 97467
Hours: Wednesday - Sunday, 8:00 - 4:30

From: Robert Samuel White <rsw@rswfire.com>
Sent: Friday, February 7, 2025 3:27 PM
To: [Tugman Volunteer Services Lead]
Subject: Re: September

Oh, man. Now [Beverly Beach Volunteer Services Lead] has gotten back to me.

I do not know what to do.

I don't think I'm allowed to go home.

If I stay, I may never see my mom again.

She tells me to stay. I need to think about it.

Is the position in September available to me if I change my mind?

I understand if it's not. I really need to think about this.

I feel so torn.

I'm sorry I'm even troubling you with this.

I get that you have very clear boundaries.

I don't know how to separate my volunteer work from my personal life - they are the same things to me.

________________________________
From: Robert Samuel White <rsw@rswfire.com>
Sent: Friday, February 7, 2025 1:19:13 PM
To: [Tugman Volunteer Services Lead]
Subject: Re: September

Thanks [Tugman Volunteer Services Lead]! I'll see you in April!

________________________________
From: [Tugman Volunteer Services Lead]
Sent: Friday, February 7, 2025 12:56:09 PM
To: Robert Samuel White <rsw@rswfire.com>
Subject: Re: September

Hi Sam, that's alright! Canceling well in advance doesn't cause any problems. Everyone understands that things come up!
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From: Robert Samuel White <rsw@rswfire.com>
Sent: Thursday, February 6, 2025 11:59:24 PM
To: [Tugman Volunteer Services Lead]
Subject: Re: September

If this would hurt me in any way, I will stay. I just want to be perfectly clear about that. I bring it up now because I'm planning my movements and there are seven months before this assignment, so I trust I wouldn't inconvenience you - the timing, like everything, is a variable in my contemplations. I would stay, joyfully, not as a concession, as total acceptance of alignment. I make this plea because I don't have assignments for July and August but that time is too short for me to go to Kentucky and back, and I couldn't go after September because our parks close for the winter. I just don't see a clear way to make this puzzle work - but staying is one way, and perhaps going to Kentucky in the spring. After April, when I finish at Honeyman that season. I hope you see I'm trying here. I will stay if breaking my commitment would cause disharmony.

________________________________
From: Robert Samuel White
Sent: Thursday, February 6, 2025 7:15:49 PM
To: [Tugman Volunteer Services Lead]
Subject: September

Hi, [Tugman Volunteer Services Lead].

I have a predicament.

On one hand, I want to establish a reliable relationship with you. I want you to know I'm dependable and you can count on me. This is really important to me.

On the other hand, I really need to go home to Kentucky at some point. It is very likely the last time I will ever see my mother. This is really important to me too.

I was going to go this summer, but I couldn't turn down the Humbug position. Not only is it my favorite place on earth (literally), I get to experience it with the bustling summer activity of the coast!

And I was looking forward to the same kind of experience at Tugman in September, when the park is likely quite busy and active and I'd be responsible for greeting new visitors as relief host.

I really can't tell you how much it meant to me you extended the offer to me and I want more than anything to do it. But I have a problem...

I started making plans to go home this winter and remembered why I came to Oregon in the first place: winters are harsh in Kentucky and the parks are closed. I literally can't travel there then.

After Umpqua in April, I spend two months at Humbug. I'd like to go home after that. But this means backing out of my September assignment at Tugman.

I know that you would accept this. But I need more than that from you. I need to know you understand how torn I feel about it and that it's not a reflection of my future reliability or passion for working with you at your parks. And I need to know this won't hurt me - as you know I already backed out of the very dumb decision to go to a day use area away from the coast, and I have no idea how that information appears in your systems.

I'm trying to build a new life here, but my old life has some loose ends I need to confront. Can you help me?

Sam